Protecting Your Church When Home Hurts

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What Is Abuse?

Abuse refers to any mistreatment that causes physical, emotional or financial harm to an adult. Abuse may be intentional or accidental and affect people from all backgrounds and cultures – whether living alone or living together; occurring both inside and outside their own home.

Physical abuse involves hitting, slapping, pushing, shaking, kicking or throwing something at someone to cause injury and can include hitting, slapping, pushing, shaking, kicking and using restraints against them to control them. Physical and emotional abuses both include cruel words used to insult, degrade and put down another individual – for instance using degrading language against their accomplishments or even insulting them directly or comparing them against others in front of other people – such as calling them ugly names; as well as accusing them of doing something they are incapable of doing without them and then blamed them for their abusive actions by other parties involved.

Financial abuse refers to taking advantage of someone’s money or resources without their permission, including illegal use. It could involve using an abusive relationship to take control over someone’s finances or use threats of violence or abandonment to force funds out of them or steal. Financial abuse also can occur through coercion to sign documents or abuse through trust funds or legal arrangements.

Discriminatory abuse includes making jokes about disability, religion or cultural background; denying services like healthcare, education or employment because of these characteristics; as well as making derogatory comments that stereotype or stereotype someone; and harassing or insulting someone’s sexual orientation or sex orientation as well as denying access to facilities because of religious or ethnic discrimination.

People experiencing abuse may develop stress reactions, including becoming emotionally distant and sleeping issues, fear and anxiety, flashbacks from bad memories or flashbacks to past events and flashbacks triggered by those memories; these could all be symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Therapy is available to help cope with these feelings by teaching how to recognize when one occurs and get support from others.

What Is the Church’s Role?

When women of faith finally come forward with abuse stories and seek assistance, their church should be one of the first places that they turn for support. Unfortunately, too often this doesn’t happen; too often church fails in providing adequate help by not just loving victims but humbly, wisely and judiciously confronting abusive perpetrators as well. Though not easy or without errors being made along the way, with humility–recognizing one’s limitations while accepting correction from Scripture or survivors–it may be possible to make fewer errors that cause less damage than otherwise.

Jeremy Pierre and Greg Wilson offer an invaluable guide to this complex topic with When Home Hurts. Both authors have extensive experience working in pastoral ministry, counseling and church leadership; drawing upon an abundance of experience and wisdom as they navigate both sensitivity and clarity in addressing abusive dynamics. Their book begins by offering readers an essential framework for understanding these dynamics before proceeding onto more practical considerations such as prioritizing victim safety while responding appropriately towards abusers – all while dealing with any collateral damage issues that may arise.

Church Hurt refers to the pain, sadness and emotional scarring caused by actions or decisions associated with churches. This may come from laity or religious leaders as well as from well-meaning church members who don’t possess enough training in dealing with delicate situations like forgiveness being withheld or grievances being ignored. Church Hurt can even occur when members don’t understand or have access to proper support in dealing with sensitive matters properly.

Yet even experienced pastors with years of specialized theological training, mature faith and participation in numerous workshops on congregational care can fall victim to words or actions by fellow believers. Satan can use those of faith as tools in his pursuit to divide and dismantle Christ’s body.

How Can the Church Help?

Over the past decade, we’ve witnessed high-profile church leaders mismanaging abuse situations and responding inappropriately. Church leaders need to learn more about abuse and how best to respond when their members are hurt; two counselors with extensive counseling experience — Jeremy Pierre and Greg Wilson — collaborated on creating this resource as a practical guide for pastors on how best to shepherd congregants through home hurt caused by domestic violence.

The book begins by offering an understanding of abuse and those involved, followed by immediate response strategies: prioritizing victim care, responding to collateral damage and how to interact with an abusive perpetrator. Finally, section three addresses longer-term care considerations and helps people recover after home harm caused by abuse; furthermore an appendix includes frequently asked questions as well as recommended resources.

As reported in the news, many domestic abuse victims are injured by church communities – whether that means neglect on part of church leaders or community members, or their acting in ways contrary to church duty. Yet Church hurt remains taboo, for good reason: nearly everyone who has ever been part of Christianity at some point or another has felt hurt by church leaders or fellow members.

Churches can serve as safe havens if equipped to understand abuse dynamics and respond in ways that honor Christ and protect individuals. Now is the time for churches to stop waiting on shelters outside to address abuse, but do what they can by providing hope to homes affected by abuse.

Thanks be to God, many church leaders are working diligently to be Christ’s light in a dark world. But most churches need to do more; that’s why books like When Home Hurts provide an invaluable resource for ongoing discussions between church leaders and congregants regarding how best to assist individuals when their home environment hurts – LifeWay sells this book.

How Can the Church Respond?

Church Hurt is an emerging concept referring to the emotional pain experienced by people who have been hurt in church settings. This can occur when members are mistreated by church leaders, ministers, or staffers who do not act responsibly – which in turn compromises unity within a congregation and testimony about Christ. Protecting against it involves setting clear expectations for everyone associated with a congregation while encouraging spiritual growth by pushing against prideful tendencies within members as well as offering counseling support and healing processes for those who have been wounded by Church Hurt.

Tina informed her pastor of physical bullying against her daughter by other children in the church youth group and requested him to intervene. Instead of protecting his daughter and taking action against the abusers, however, he sided with long-term families over Tina and ignored her story altogether. After being shunned for speaking up at church, Tina decided it best for both of them that she left it all together.

Sin is an inevitable reality in our fallen world, including church sin and abuse. While biblical church membership and discipline, caring leadership team, and an active prayer life will help prevent sinful behavior from taking hold, this cannot guarantee its absence. Nonetheless, the Church offers incredible potential as a safe haven for healing and hope–not somewhere they feel exploited or mistreated.

Pastors must lead their churches with love and compassion, including providing safe harbor for those who need one. Unfortunately, we see headline after headline about how churches have failed to properly respond or protect people who are being mistreated within them.

Jeremy Pierre and Greg Wilson have written When Home Hurts: A Guide for Responding Wisely to Abuse in Your Church as an aid for pastors, church leaders, and laypeople to respond appropriately in domestic abuse situations in church settings. It acknowledges the reality of abuse before providing immediate and long-term advice that addresses immediate as well as long-term needs for victims of domestic abuse.